When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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