i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
