she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
