Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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