The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize