my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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