did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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