Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
