He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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