I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize