so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
