Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
