I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
