1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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