she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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