Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
