No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
