I'm jealous of your bromance
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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