Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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