He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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