I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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