ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize