Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
