He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
