it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The best revenge is premature balding
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
