ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
