i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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