i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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