i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
