Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there's paper in my vomit.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
