this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
