Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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