Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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