we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
is it fun? or sober?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
