dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
