Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
