Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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