so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Come see our sink grown plant.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
