she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
