And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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