I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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