Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
