I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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