By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
