I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
