the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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