K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
