Pants 0. Shit 1.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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