Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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