god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
