We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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