sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
