This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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