Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
