Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
