Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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