Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
