So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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