1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
